Navigating Grief: Part 2: How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving
When someone you care about is grieving, it’s easy to feel helpless. In our conversation with clinical psychologist, Dr. Rebecca Tuttle, we explored some words that may help (and words to avoid) the words that may help, words to avoid, how to offer support, and the quiet actions that offer real comfort and connection to people during a time of grief.
As I mentioned during part 1 of the Navigating Grief series: I often meet families during some of the most difficult moments of their lives. Handling legal matters is challenging in most circumstances but especially during a time of grieving, and the emotional weight can feel impossible. I wanted to better understand what people experience when they are grieving so that we can support them through more than just paperwork.
We often see friends and family wanting desperately to help someone who’s is grieving, but unsure how. So we asked Dr. Tuttle what truly helps, and what might unintentionally hurt.
Some phrases that are meant to comfort, like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place,” can actually feel minimizing, Dr. Tuttle explained. Grief needs acknowledgment, not explanation.
Here’s what Dr. Tuttle recommended:
Listen. Sometimes the best gift is simply sitting with someone in their pain.
Acknowledge the loss. Let them know they don’t need to put up a front.
Offer concrete, specific help. Instead of “let me know if you need anything,” try:
“Can I watch the kids for you on Tuesday day?”
“I’m available Tuesday afternoon. Let me know if I can run some errands for you.”
"What's your favorite meal? I can drop some off for you on Friday."
Stay present over time. There’s often an initial tidal wave of support at first, followed by silence. Weekly Periodic (e.g., weekly, biweekly) check-ins for over a few weeks or months are more meaningful offers those navigating grief consistent support, rather than a single surge immediately following the loss at the beginning.
Small gestures matter. Food, phone calls, even a 20-second hug (which helps to initiate the release of oxytocin, the "love" bonding hormone) can be deeply comforting.
Respect traditions. Cultural and religious practices provide stability and meaning; help make space for whatever feels right for them.
Know when to encourage professional help. If someone’s grief begins to affect relationships, work, or daily living for a long period of time, compassionate encouragement to seek guidance can be life-changing.
Dr. Tuttle reminded us: “A lot of people feel alone in their grief because everyone tiptoes around the situation. Simply acknowledging that the grief is there gives them permission to exist in the reality of it.”
Knowing how to support someone else is important — but it’s just as vital to care for yourself if you’re the one grieving. In the final part of this series, we’ll explore how to recognize when grief may need extra help, and the steps you can take to begin healing.
Sincerely,
Silvia A. Brett, Esq.
About Dr. Rebecca Tuttle:
Dr. Rebecca Tuttle is a licensed clinical psychologist with a doctorate in Clinical Psychology (Psy.D.) and owner of Tuttle Psychology. She is licensed in the states of Florida and Colorado and is authorized to practice interjurisdictional psychology in all PSYPACT states via telehealth. She specializes in grief and loss support and has completed specialized trainings in depression, anxiety, and grief. Click here to contact Dr. Rebecca Tuttle.
About Brett Legal:
Brett Legal, PLLC is a law firm based in St. Petersburg, Florida and handling Probate and Estate planning throughout the state of Florida. Click here for more information.
Disclaimer: The information in this post about navigating grief and loss is intended for general educational and informational purposes only and is not a suitable substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief or related concerns, please seek support from a qualified mental health professional.
Additionally, the information provided on this blog is not intended to be legal advice. The content may not reflect the most current legal developments, and it is not guaranteed to be complete or up-to-date. The information on this blog should not be taken as legal advice for any specific case or situation. You should not act or refrain from acting based on any content included in this blog without seeking the appropriate legal advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a professional licensed in your jurisdiction. The author expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any or all the contents of this blog. If you have any of the topics discussed herein, you should contact the appropriate legal, medical, psychological or other applicable professional.
